A changeling's Journal
by Haneino Tsukiko
Summary: Baibre has kept a journal since she was 7. it's fairly thick by now with pages added in the back. flipping through the pages each entry listed grabs attention and demands to be read.


(AN: this is the journal of my World of Darkness character Baibre. this chapter goes up until she's 11 and the next chapter will take us to the point where the game begain.all chapters after that will be in real time with the game. imagine the entries as being pages you flipped to. theres more in between each entry, you just skiped it its a fairly thick journal with pages added in at the back. (just setting the mood lol) anyway read and review. )

Feb 13 1996

Hi, I'm Baibre Alexander. Your my journal so I can tell you everything … lets start with the easy stuff. Well I'm 7 today. I got this book from the librarian when I told her it was my b-day she said it seemed like I should have it but she didn't say who wrote it. It's a really pretty purple velvety journal looking book. It's filled with very neat symbols and a few real words here and there. I'm going to keep it under my pillow. Oh and I got you today too from my teacher. She said its best to get our feelings on paper so they don't hurt us.

I have to tell you something…. I don't like it here. Mommy and Daddy are always fighting over money and I hear my name a lot too. Sometimes I hear dishes breaking on the wall when I'm reading. They didn't even remember it was my birthday today. But I guess I should have expected as much. Sometimes its like I don't even exist.

But the things that DO notice me are scary. There's a blonde man that keeps standing over me when I wake up in the middle of the night. His eyes make me scared. When the blonde isn't there I hear things. Whispers really but sometimes its like everyone is yelling at once and I just want to run away back to my books and my radio. I normally keep a radio with me cause it drowns out the whispers. I see things too…when I'm walking sometimes people aren't people. The other day I was at the library and saw a man with blue skin and horns! But no one else seemed to notice but me. When he looked at me he smiled like he knew something I didn't. And sometimes the pretty librarian lady has wings. I try not to walk at night… weird things happen at night. I don't know how to describe it other than weird things.

I don't like the other kids at school. They make fun of me because of my eyes. I've never met anyone with my eyes before so I guess they're weird. They have three different colors in them blue, green and yellow all at once and they change with my mood too.

Well journal I'm getting sleepy. Talk to you in the morning.

July 15 1996

I was out after dark yesterday when I saw a big black cat fighting with a big grey dog. It looked like the cat might get hurt so I ran over to break it up when a pipeline broke spraying the big grey dog in the face making him run away. The cat looked at me with pretty jade green eyes and I swear it smiled at me!

Mommy and Daddy are still fighting. Daddy keeps calling her bad words and saying I'm not his daughter…

I fell asleep crying again…. but this time I felt something warm next to me just as I drifted off. I could almost swear it was furry.

Oct 31 1997

Journal it happened again…I was out trick or treating when I saw the big black cat with jade eyes watching me again. He...it…I think it's a he…anyway…he doesn't make me afraid like the blonde man. I actually wanted to go pet him. I don't think he knows I know he's there.

Mommy and Daddy didn't even notice that I came home late. Mommy had her head in her arms on the table and Daddy had fallen asleep in his chair with a beer bottle in his hand. I'm beginning to wonder why I'm even here…my books say Mommy and Daddies are supposed to give kisses and hugs but mine don't. Other kids at school have their moms or dads come in sometimes and talk. I wish my parents were like my books.

I'm starting to get headaches from all of the whispers and shouting voices. My eyes hurt sometimes too if I've seen a lot of the weird things.

I think the purple journal is magic or something cause there were new words in it today. No sentences yet but a few random words.

Feb 13 1998

It's my birthday again. I'm 9 today. The big black cat was in my room again. I found a stuffed black cat on my pillow when I got home from school. There was a note with it that just said "happy birthday". I went to show daddy and he shoved me away because I was blocking his game. So I went to show mommy and she yelled at me and took the toy cat away telling me not to steal. I tried not to cry but I did anyway. She picked up the belt and gave me 10 swats for crying without a reason and sent me to my room.

I'm going to read a few more chapters in my book and go to bed. It was a gift… I wish…(There are a few tearstains on this page and there's a line across the page that makes it look like she fell asleep writing)

May 23 1998

The blonde man spoke to me… I was so scared I couldn't even scream. He said, "A few more years and you'll be mine." I don't know what he meant but I'm afraid…

Jan 30 1999

I'll be 10 in 13 days. Maybe once I'm 10 my parents will be nicer to me… I'm starting in middle school next year. I wonder if there will be friends for me there.

The big black cat has been gone for a few days. I'm starting to worry about him. I had a dream the other night that he wasn't a cat. Instead he was a boy with dark hair and the same pretty green eyes. He said he had to go away for a little while, but he'd be back in time for my birthday. What was it he called me? Oh yeah, Papillion…its French, I think it means butterfly. It was a nice dream.

Feb 14 2000

I gave up last night. I hadn't seen the black cat since last year and everything just kept getting worse. I thought no one cared. The kids at school hate me. My parents don't even remember I exist unless they're fighting and then they act like I'm a bad thing. My head was always pounding and my eyes were hurting constantly. I was over my head and gave up.

I stole a knife from the kitchen and sat in the tub. As I started to cut into my wrist, the door was kicked open, a boy a few years older than me ran in and took the knife away. He locked his jade eyes on mine. He whispered, "Papillion…It's your birthday…you're not supposed to die today. Be strong. I will come for you when you're older. I promise."

He kissed my forehead and ran off again.

My heart feels fluttery and warm…I think its love.


End file.
